FML??

I feel like this..


I need some time...

I'm searching for and excited for this...

My sister told me today to stop saying FML.

I only ever said it as a joke, I don't obviously mean it, and sometimes it just feels so relevant.

She pointed out I had a great life and I had just come back from Paris.

Sometimes it's good to gain an outside perspective.

This week has been intense and next week looks to be just as bad. I've been stressed to the extreme and so caught up in the uni work. Sometimes you forget how great your own life is because you get caught up in the little things.

I appreciat this. But at the same time, sometimes they don't feel so little. And yes I know, I should remember that in general I do have a pretty great life and I just came back from an incredible experience (that is taking far longer to adjust that I ever imagined) but somewhere in my head, I am completely lost and confused like I never have been before. Sometimes I don't feel like I know who I am, sometimes it feels like I'm watching my own life from the sidelines. Napping has become the worst, I used to love it. I wake up and wonder what the hell am I doing?! I wake up and think of the ex. (why is he still stuck in my head?! I think its simply because some of these feelings are similiar to the way I felt when we broke up but still... its frustrating...)

I feel so alone.

I hate to feel this because I used to love being single.

I feel trapped between two worlds.

Sometimes I feel like I'm screaming and no one can hear me, that no-one understands. But how can they, when even I don't understand.

The NZ me and the Paris me don't quite fit. I need to find a new me. And thats challenging... especially as there is so much going on at the moment.

I feel that I need and want some time out from the craziness of life in general just to find me.

I know I will feel better soon... I know some of this is just from stress... but sometimes its hard... hard waiting for the universe to send ya some love =p

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