Freedom!!!

This has actually been me in the last few weeks:

Exam time. Study, study, study. Plus just a mild dose of coffee..

Ok, ok, just maybe, perhaps extreme amounts at times

Plus a heck load of junk food..
but hey, theres gotta be a positive side to basically living in the library
right?!

But now I am officially

FREE

That's rights, free!!

So I might just take a large amount of sleep now. I am so looking forward to it!

Ps. how did I actually never notice this before:

Funny that.

Why hello

Isn't time a funny thing?

I always find that it works in the opposite direction that you want it to.

When you've had your heart broken, hours seems to tick slowly by, days feel like weeks.

When your looking forward to something, it feels like it couldn't come soon enough, it seems to take forever to arrive.

And when it does, it flashes before your eyes (why hello student exchange?! how is it that this time last year, I hadn't met you yet and your now over?)

In the blink of an eye, something may change (why hello dent in my car).

And when you don't want something to happen, before you can do anything, its smacked you in the face.

Why hello exams.

I'm excited that your my last in my undergraduate degree... but I still don't want to sit you. Will you please write yourselves. Yep? ok thanks.

Um. well. ok. then.

Woah. well. um. ok then.... woah!!


I was happy to see the end of May. With the last few weeks of craziness, it all started to add up. I was definately looking forward to the beginning of June. Things would be better I just knew it. Exciting things would happen. I was in a good mindset.


The first week of June began.

I put a small dent in my car.

Then my car was towed costing me $150 ... ouch! ok ok I admit I was in the wrong but still $150! grrr have never liked the towing industry.

And then... the honours program for my course apparently experienced a surge in enrollments, the course was capped and closed!! A month and a half in advance... and I hadn't enrolled.

This summed me up pretty well:


I hadn't completely decided this was what I wanted to do but I think in the back of my mind I knew this is what I would do despite never really admitting it to anyone.

I suddenly realised this was my last semester!! I wouldn't be coming back! At least not for the next semester... how had I not appreciated this more?! What on earth was I going to do now?! I wasn't ready for the big scary world! Did I actually want to do the honours year?!? especially if it meant another full year at university... my mind went into a spin. This was scary! I always had a secret back up plan of what I would be doing and suddenly I didn't, it was WIDE open.


and then WOAH. It was WIDE open!!!! I could do what ever I wanted! I could take the time to really consider if I wanted to do the honours program. I could come back motivated and focused, if that's what I decided, especially after a semester of very little motivation.

It was a rather, freeing feeling.

It was scary yet completely exciting... my future was wide open.

It was as though the decision was made for me. It was taken out of my hands. .. it was as though it happened for a reason.. and I love that. I truly believe everything happens for a reason. So I'm looking to the positive and am excited to see what happens.

Everything happens for a reason... sometimes its just harder to see the reason... but its always there ... sometimes it hurts and you don't understand why... but at some point it will all be clear.

Now to get through exams....how did I forget about those little things..

Argh.

Argh. I am so completely and utterly unmotivated at the moment. It is making uni rather difficult.

I only have a month and a half left and I have finished my degree!!! woohoo!! but even that isn't motivation enough...

Please motivation, kick in soon =)

Whoops.

Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once...

Leaving assignments to the last minute is not one of these.

Whoops.

Hopefully I've learnt my lesson this time (ha!) because that was just two weeks of way too much craziness and lack of sleep (from studying not partying?!)

Messed up priorities

Just a small note....

My week continued in mostly the happy way =p

But when emotions turned... it was very confusing. Damn those things can be very messy huh.

I loved that feeling though... happy simply because I was. Me all by myself.

However I have just noticed that I spent all of my uni break at work.. trying to clear my Paris debt as fast as possible, and I have made some great headway. Yet.. I did no uni work. And now I am incredibly overloaded. Honestly I will barely be sleeping in the next two weeks! Eek! How did I do this... AGAIN?! Haha
I don't seem to learn... but wheres the fun in that right?!

I simply kept procrastinating.. thinking I will do it later. Well later is now.
I think the thought of it being my last semester will get me through this though! (Yay!) because I'm getting a bit over this.

Life lesson I am continually learning: Stop procrastinating!!! Do whatever it is that needs to be done, or you want to put off now!



On a side note... I think maybe I have already been a bit tooo open with what I say on here... I know that no-one is reading and it has been amazing to unload... a small part of me is worried that someday someone I know will read this. So maybe I will just be a little bit more vague from now on.

Argh. Back to it I guess.
Have a happy week!